satisfaction

I am not satisfied in my relationship with Christ right now, I wish He was my absolute treasure, something that I desire more than any TV show, computer game, time with my friends, or any other earthly pleasure. I feel the fight to make him my treasure seems so daunting and I still have a selfish fear of losing earthly things. But I am glad I am not satisfied, I hope to be never satisfied, I believe that it is dangerous to be satisfied in my relationship with Christ, I need to be constantly feeling the need to grow. My pursuit of God must be continuous for me to find him.

I hate sin

I hate sin
I hate what it can do
I hate how it destroys lives
I hate how it ruins relationships
I hate how it killed my Jesus
I hate how finds its way in
I hate its deceitfulness
I hate how it lies
I hate how it blinds
I hate how it destroys
I hate how it corrupts
I hate how it hides and waits to attack
I hate what it has done to God's beautiful creation
I hate how it makes creation groan
I hate how it makes me groan
I hate how it distorts beauty and love
I hate how it brings death
I hate how it warps our understanding of Jesus
I hate how it eats away churches
I hate how it brings shame
I hate how it loves falsehood and hates the truth
I hate how it has hurt my Jesus
I hate sin

"The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil.
Pride and arrogance and the way of evil
and perverted speech I hate"(Proverbs 8:13 ESV)


Jesus please come back soon! destroy sin once and for all

my hope is in the day when sin is no longer and I am free to worship Jesus at his feet without shame

"Save, O Lord, for the godly one is gone;
for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man.
Everyone utters lies to his neighbor;
with flattering lips and a double heart they speak...
On every side the wicked prowl,
as vileness is exalted among the children of man"(psalm 12:1-2,8 ESV)

Wartime Lifestyle

back early

I am back early for mulitple reason, and have learned a few things about myself through this 4 day break and it has been good

one week

I am taking a week off the computer to focus on other things
I will be back May 27

Beauty part 2

I have come to realize that my joy in Christ comes from my experience beholding the beauty of Jesus. It is what draws sinners to the cross. When Jesus’ blood is seen as the beautiful sacrifice that cleanses this sin that is such an infinite offense to God, there no response but to run toward and embrace Him as savior. I read something by Jonathan Edwards that talked about this very thing. He basically said that believers are held captive by the beauty of Christ and unrepentant sinners will never (even when Christ’s glory is revealed to the world) see the loveliness and beauty of Christ. Then he goes on to say that if someone sees the beauty of Christ, it produces a love of God that is far greater than just the love someone feels for God because he loves them.

David in the psalms makes a request of the Lord. He states “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple” (Psalm 27:4). That was David’s yearning. He wanted to gaze upon the amazing beauty of God. That is one of the many reasons why a christian wants to go to heaven. I long for the day when I get to see Christ in his glorified beauty. I can not wait for the day when the Bible says I get to see God face to face. When I seriously try to picture the beauty that is in Jesus I have trouble holding back the tears. That true beauty is so overwhelming. The word for beauty in that psalm could also mean benevolence. One could infer that David is talking about how the beauty of Christ is found in his kindness. The Bible does say that God’s kindness is what leads men to repentance (Romans 2:4). Some of the most beautiful aspects of Christ are his kindness, his love, and his patience with us.

However, I think that the most beautiful thing that christians get to experience on this earth is the cross; the time when God became a human to live among his creation and spill his innocent blood. How often I forget what really happened at the cross. I think we fail to realize how innocent and pure the blood of Jesus really was. The reason that christians can preach that the blood of Jesus can cover all sin is because it was the purest blood the world had ever seen. It was a blood so innocent no human being should be allowed to go near the one whose veins that blood flowed thru. This blood should be infinitely precious to us. I think to often in our culture we are trying to find ourselves within our selves. We try to found our worth in our self-esteem or self-love, but we should find our worth solely in the sacrifice of Jesus. We have been cleansed by the purest of blood, the blood of God himself. I want to be captivated by that beauty.

watch this

Beauty part 1

Beauty is something that can make me cry. I know, I am a guy, I am not supposed to cry, but there is something about beauty that makes me so happy the tears flow. Now, when most people think of beauty, they think of things in nature, a painting, a pretty girl, or even an emotion. But what about that mysterious beauty that is found solely in Jesus? It is that beauty which brings tears to my eyes.

The more I pursue my relationship with Jesus, the more he seems to reveal to me his magnificence. It is like beholding every wonder this world has at the same time and it is magnified because of the mysterious element where the true beauty is found. Mystery is something that draws many people. Curiosity itself stems from a desire to understand the mysteries of this world. This curiosity and love of mystery can be found in the Eastern religions. Their appeal is from the idea that someone can take a leap of faith into the mysterious and hope to find what they are looking for.

The difference with Christ as opposed to other religions is the fact that he is both personal and full of mystery at the same time. It is a strange hybrid between the known and the unknown. The mysteries of God come from our inability in our finite minds to understand a God who is outside of time. There is such beauty in the pursuit of this God that so far beyond yet so intimately close at the same time.

Sin comes from our desire for things of this world that to our narrow perspective seem beautiful but are really a forsaking of true beauty. For instance, you could find a beautiful aspect to selfishness. It feels good to fulfill my longing for the simple pleasures this world supplies. You could find that beautiful but is a warped understanding of beauty.

I think that the beauty of Christ is not necessarily something that we experience in a new way every day. The picture of Christ we have in the complete written word of God is so absolutely beautiful that it needs nothing to be complete in our minds. This is where the mystery comes in. The fact that even though it seems so full, that it must be complete, it barley touches the surface of Christ’s true beauty that could not be fully revealed to mankind because it is so beyond our understanding. It is something (when I go about my life) I want to see it again. It is a beauty that seems too good to be true, but it is and there is so much more.

my plans

I am already making plans to turn this blog into a book. I am going to take some stuff I have written on here and expand on it as well as add much more. I know, I am a little young to be writing a full book, but that just means I have plenty of time to work on it. I have really learned to enjoy writing; I guess you could say it’s my new hobby/passion. Writing allows me to express myself to a degree I would never be able to in speech. Writing is more fine tuned and articulate and I have time the think long and hard about everything I say before I say it. I have a notebook I carry around with me so I can write whenever I am sitting around doing nothing. So please give me feedback on my writings, I want to hear what you like and what you think I can do better.

Theology

Theology is a great tool in which to study the bible, how Christians should live, to understanding the world, and it help to keep our minds on the things of God.

But

I sometimes feel like some of it is futile. What is there to be gained from applying human understanding to a God who is so far above it? I think theology can lead to a lot of fundamentalism and a loss of the simple, powerful, and life changing truths of the bible.

Well let me take that back

Theology is good as long it is kept in a humble perspective. I think people can get so wrap-up in their theology that they forget that theology is very far from perfect. I think it would be dangerous to live your life based on a theological idea. (Other than the theology of salvation through Jesus alone, I think that is indisputable) But yea, I think trust in God is far more important than understanding him. I think loving God and People is much more of a priority than understanding theology.

Besides (this may be a little naïve of me, and you theology guys might chew my head off for this) but why not just wait till heaven when we get all eternity to study God right there in his presence! Let’s focus all our attention on loving and reaching this world which is lost and spinning out of control fast.

I don’t know, I am kind of just rambling, what do you think?