late night emotions

I went to see the new batman movie "The Dark Knight" tonight. It was an amazing film and it wasn't your run-of-the-mill super hero flick. This was a dark movie. Movies have a profound impact on my emotions, especially good film. This movie was one those. Dark movies bring me to a place where I can "feel" evil. I drove home crying out to God realizing the evil I had seen in the lives of people around me. I don't understand why God seems to hide his face from evil. I don't understand why God lets false ideas about him endure. I don't understand why God chooses to only show his true glory and righteousness to some and not all. I don't understand why I see people who seem to be seeking God being led into falsehoods. I thought God was a God who rewards those who earnestly seek him?

Also, for the first time in my life I think I felt what the apostle Paul felt when he said that he would rather himself be cut off from Christ so that the people he loved could know Christ. I felt like I wanted to take some of my friends place so that they could know Christ and have the peace that comes with faith in that savior. Normally, when I would read about Paul saying that, I would have to admit I was too selfish to feel that way but tonight the Lord gave me a taste of what that feels like. I feel that I could name a few people who I would trade places with so that they could experience true life.

In all this I still trust that the Lord is just, a God of his word, and full of love even if I don't see it.